Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in CONTROVERSY's LiveJournal:

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Monday, February 25th, 2008
2:33 pm	Things So Far  Shit Things have been going pretty smoothly but slowly. We think we found a place that we both adore, but today we are just going to take one more look at a few places our realter has found for us. I still think we are making the decision on that place we saw though cuz we can see ourselves living there. It is a one bedroom 2 and a half bathroom condo with a huge livingroom area. It needs no work except carpet and paint, and thats it. It doesn't have any of those outrageous requirements like other shitty places we've seen, and it looks soo much better than any place we have checked out! It seems too good to be true, but I am gonna try my best to have good intentions this time cuz I have a good feeling about this..no gloating though. Its a coincidence because the lawn cutting guy in our neighboorhood here got robbed at gun-point this morning. I have been having some really bad Apocolyptic dreams lately too, the sun being soo bright and shining down..then all of a sudden small meteors start shooting out from it and the whole sky turns dim blue. My love and I grasp eachother as the bigger meteor comes towards us, but I wake up before anything. I had lots of car accident ones too in the past few nights. I had this one dream two three nights ago where the grim reaper grabbed my arm and started sucking the life out of me, and I could literally feel it. Looking at him with his evil grin and smoke-black face. I kept seeing a dead chick named Emily too, and she keeps calling for help. Just some crazy shit. and I tend to have many crazy dreams, but in cycles. I wud go months w/o a prophetic or Apocolyptic dream, but then I just get bumbarded with them and bad things start happening around me. I just pray..not to me or anyone I truely care for.       Anyway, I am now 20 and thankful to still be alive..breathing. I like breathing even in the hard times..I like being here..though this is hell, and there is better beyond this..just waiting for us to arrive. I like to be. Right now I am going to chill with my sweety, so later! Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
2:38 pm	A Long Story Short A  long story short, my , love and I are as happy as ever and have been together for 3 years and 2 months!! We now live in FL. We've been here since January 20th, but we have been really busy. I also haven't been able to get into myspace, so I had to type my thots somewhere, so I came here. I dont really go on here though, but its still my page. Yeah so we are looking for a new place and this place will be our condo. We've decided to buy. We are currently living with friends of Julians from when he was in the woumb (Terri, his mothers ex best friend, her husband Any, and their two kids Trista and Trace). Things have been a lil difficult with just being with eachtother and cuddling cuz we've been sooo busy with packing and unpacking, home-hunting, and being sick. I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled on the 11th of this month, which I hated. Then I ended up getting dry socket and needed further dental treatment. There is alot more things I want to say, but my love is home and I want to see him!! Oh yeah, my birthday is comming up and I am gonna be 20!! I am getting old-er, but I like it(: My love and I are going to see NILE at the culture room for the second time on March 9th!! We are sooo excited!! Also my love and I are f-ing excited to see Dimmu Borgir and Behemoth at culture room on the 30th of April!! We never thought we'd see the day Dimmu Borgir play at the culture room. We will be seeing Behemoth for the second time though, but they have gotten sooooo much better!! We got all the above bands new cds so hopefully we can sing most songs by the concert(: Anyway, right now I am going to be with my love so toodles!! Current Mood: busy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
3:28 pm	Even The Metal Heads Here Suck! Even The Metal Heads Here Suck! Current mood: infuriated Category: Music   Well, the past few days have been going smooth I guess. My love got a job, but I am still job less..I dont get it..this place is so complicating. Only 111 days until we get the fuck out of this shithole. Oh yes, I have been counting down the days, thats how bad I want out of here. I dont want to die here. I say that only because this place is filled with crazy people. People that are so unadvanced..modern.boring. Maybe thats why they go off and murder ppl..cuz their lives are eventless. Speaking of which, my love took me with him to this guitar club at Rocky Mount Senior High just to see how it was and shit. Everyone in there was so lame and old fashioned. When the teacher asked the class what kind of music we all liked the losers were saying "classical" and "classical rock." WTF? We dint even say anything cuz if we would've been like "DEATH METAL, BLACK METAL" the whole class would prolly pull out wooden crosses to sheild themselves from our "satanic ora." They just dont get it. Anyway, we just sat quietly and dint interact with anyone. Those kids need to come to FL and get an upgade lol. This place is soo soft..well the rockers. They all are soo non expressive! So out of our league! Where the fuck are the real hardcore bitches and assholes(in a good way) like Julian and I?   Anyway, we are bringing our guitar into the club on Friday, but iff ppl are playing lame guitar riffs and flip out in fear after they hear me play I am definately not going back to that "guitar" club.  Fuck it all man FUCK IT ALL! I JUST WANT TO GO TO FL NOW WITH MY LOVEBEE!! I am gonna go now cuz writting about it is only pissing me off even more!!   Currently listening : Insineratehymn By Deicide Release date: 27 June, 2000 Current Mood: infuriated (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 17th, 2007
8:46 pm	THOUGHTS, ANNI, AND GOD OF WAR II Man this has been a hectic week and school is getting tough with projects pouring in and all, but we are hangin in there. The weather was sucky today. Its been raining ALLLL day and it hasen't stopped yet. It is crazy! Well first off, I got my report card and was totally surprized to see I am basically and A student. I had 3 A's and a C on my report card, and Julians was pretty good too, but mine was better lol. Well we celebrated our 2year 3month on the 13th, but dint get to get the new God of War II game we were anticipating, but the new shipment of it came in the next day and we got it!! Anyway, on our anni, we went to the mall and my booboo bought me the new Chimiara cd 'Resurrection' its is a sic ass cd!! Julian really likes it and he only listene to death and black metal, so thats cool. I had a gift card for jc penny and got a new sexy langerie set and a bra. We ate some chinese food at the mall and went to see a movie after we got soo drunk lol I dont really remember what we watched cuz we were wasted, but I know it was good lol. We had a great time and then passed out lol. Yesterday, we started playing the new God of  War II game and it was just off the fucking hook!! I dont think any game can top this God of War shit yo! They may come out with a part 3 and that will have to be good if it does come out!! I love our new game. I wish we had a big screen to play it on though cuz it looks like a movie! Anyway, I have been just thinking about everything and moving and visiting FL..I am soo excited I want to just go now!! My boo and I are going to have such a good time, but I wont gloat cuz that does ruin plans for some odd reason-its like a jinx ya know? Well I dont really have much to say, but I do really want to play my new game. I love you Julian Paolino, I love you Nikki. I love you Sissy! muah! Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Friday, December 29th, 2006
10:03 pm	OUR CHRISTMAS and JULIANS HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY! Man it has been one hell of a week for Julian and I. Our Christmas was soo good. We woke up at like 12:00pm and we opened our presents. We got clothes, money, new bed sheets, gift cards, a cell phone, and a new playstation 2 and like 11 games. We got Gauntlet, Hitman, Devil May Cry 1,2,&3. GUN, GTA, and the best game ever! GOD OF WAR. Man you gotta play it!!! I have never been sooo obesssed with a game before. When you are stoned or drunk..even sober the game just sucks you in! Its brutal as hell! Anyway Julian got me a really beautiful purple glass butterfly thats sits on a mirror, some sexy langerie, and video games. I got him....ME! He insisted I dint get him anything cuz we share everything anyway lol, and I am broke(: We were soooo wasted for both christmas and his birthday, which was the next day.First, on his birthday we went shopping, and then we went out to dinner with his mom to our favorite restaraunt and ate a shit load of sushi. We went back home and got really wasted and went out to the movies to go see Rocky Balboa, which we loved! I love all the Rocky movies. We got wayyy too drunk and shit when we got home. I dont even remember how much we drank or smoked lol. We played video games too. I am the one who doesn't really remember anything about the day except before we got totally wasted lol. I just remember waking up and my hair smelt like barf lol. We saw black christmas on xmas which was a really cool movie too. For the holidays, we are prolly going to do the same stuff cuz there is not much to do here, so we will try and make the best of things(: Today, we had errands to run. We had to take our Tinkerbell baby to the clinic to get her stiches removed and get her some antibiotics because she totally bit open her wounds on her paws from the declawing surgery and bled everywhere. Then we went and got me a North Carolina State ID. My pic looked so funny, but better than my FL one that I got when I was 15. I dint smile, so I looked so depressed lol. Well having my period contributed to my gloomy look. lol. Right now I am going to log off and go play some playstation cuz I hate being online for too long. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 11th, 2006
12:10 am	My Love, My Life, My Apathy On a happier note, my love and I are going to spend a great time on our 1yr and 11 month, which is comming up on the 13th. I am soo excited to be with him the whole day without him having to go to school or work since we are doing it on a Sunday. I love to spend the day by his side, talking about great things to come and a rotten, but  memorable past we left behind in FL.I am glad we got away from all the drama and I am greatful to have gone this far and still have him here with me to spend all my good and bad days together with him..even if we make eachothers day bad, we love to be next to eachother, unlike others who walk out on their spouses during a fued. I am so happy with him! I dont even consider lusting for a girl an option anymore because he satisfies and always has satisfied my every need. I thought I wanted a lusty relationship with a girl only cuz he told me it wasn't a big deal seeing I wasn't marrying them or anything serious, but after a while I began to realize that no one else will ever give me butterflies like he STILL does,turn me on like he does, or anything the way I would want like he does. I do so much for him and vise versa that we are totaly devoted to the every need of  'us'  and noone/nothing else matters to us. Yeah, I still will look at girls and woo them and fuck with their heads,but they DO cause so many problems and females are all such backstabbers. I can definately say I have ALWAYS gotten along better with bisexuals and guys. Lesbians on the other hand are bitches and are so bitter to life..well the ones I know, and str8 girls are sooo close-minded and girly it makes me sick! My boo doesn't mind my flirty ways when a girl comes along because they will never amount to him. They will make great friends though. There is always room for friends, and I do my best to make the right ones, not like I used to. I  let go of soo much since Julian and I have been together. I have ended so many false friendships (they know who they are) and went through alot of heartache with ppl I thot I could trust, but I honestly trust no one at all. They all lie to one another even if it is to lesson the pain of the truth, or to just be a hipocryte, its all in the same ballfield to me anyway. I know to keep my friends close and my enemies  closer because if I seek revenge I know where I can find the fucker. Anyway, my boo and I....we made such history in the years we've known eachother. He knows more about me then anyone, and most of all,he knows things that noone else will ever know. He knows how I really feel about some of the people I know, he knows nothing but truth only because he deserves it and I dont see why anyone else ever deserved to, so I never had the reason to tell anyone my deepest inner most feelings about them. That is just something they need not know, and I chose not to share. He knows everyone I secretly dispise and every answer to a question about how I personally feel about sum 1. I too know all his enemies..thats basically everyone.Sucks that they will never know..maybe they do, but who cares, all that matters is him and I and our future together. I hope to whatever God is listening out there that those horrible, disgusting individuals will surely get what they deserve. I already got mine, and I have done some fucked up shit, but I left all that behind and was boomed ten fold, and now it's all of your  turns...time is very crusial now and I will come out with guns blazing at this point of no return. So yes Sunday will be a great day for my boo boo and I and I cant wait to chill with my gurl Thevlyn Monday. SOOO busy around X-mas and we got sooo many gifts.I cant wait to see what my old enemies got me lol ( my boos mom and Gary lol). I am soo bored I think I am going to take a nap and wait for my sexy sweety to get his ass home so we can chill. He is my one and only true true, best friend and always will be, and I will be there for him no matter what. Current Mood: accomplished (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:08 am	FAKE friends and FAKE you! I had to deal with alot of fakes in my short and still going lifetime and I have to say, there aren't that many real people to begin with. Everyone is trying to win the perspective of another whether it's dressing like them to get their attention or just flat out asking that person for advice to be more like them. Sux, but thats life, and we need some phonies around anyway cuz they make for good humor. Heh, I just wish they wouldn't try and be a "goth" trend cuz it just makes the devoted realists look like disasters and idots. Now onto emo..hmm well I have alot I want to say about them, but to put it in summary, they are just undercover fake goths that want to dress dark and yet compose punk rock. They love to sing about their failed relationships and horrible lives so that their enemies wont do it first. Lastly, emos (emotionalist) I think love the sad lives they lead cuz it might make for a single on their cd called "Im fat, pimply, and my girlfriend just left me." Preps are just wayyyy dramatic, and love to steal there best friends boyfriends..nothing more to say there. Yet, in all entirety, the minority of all labeled living humans is a Realist. They know who they are. I dont make fun of them I make fun of the imitaters(majority) who try soo hard to portray them. I have met dozens in high school come senior year and it was just growing like a tumor that went undetected, and I still had to be kinda nice to them. I am sure I will never talk to those kids again. In conclusion.... to be quite honest with you I hate almost every single person that lives, as a fake, living up their fake ass lives, and just stuck up ppl in general. They are almost all assholes, and they deserve to die a horrible, painful death. I hate all people that are stupid enough to label themselves. And not to forget....I hate and want the people that try to immitate the realists to die horrible deaths. Anyone that can't have their own personality needs to die. Death will spare them the embarrassment of being imposters.FAKE them and FAKE you! *The last paragraph was taken from a friends 'about me' and modified to best fit my opinon* Current Mood: calm (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 4th, 2006
8:15 pm	A Piece of our mind AHH YES edging closer and closer to the end of the year, to many events, to a new begining, and I am better now that this year is almost over..Man..I have been living with my fiancee' for 6 months..I left FL that long ago?? Wow, it dint take so long to get to this point, and thats good b/c our life is going start to blossom as an independant married couple soon with lots of great things to come. It's a peacful afternoon I can say, but I want my Julian to be here to enjoy it with me, but he is at school bored out of his mind. I cant wait to start school with him!! I will continue what creek tried to end, and thats being in school with my one and only. I get all googly thinking about him! On the tenth we are going to watch The Return, or we will do that on our anniversary of one year and 11 months...almost two years baby!! Wow thats the longest I have ever been with someone, and he sure is someone special to me indeed. I have never felt like this about anyone before..I thot I did, but I was just too young to realize it meant nothing to them. If I could turn back time I would've NEVER lost my virginity to such an asshole loser I thought loved me. Thats the mistake alot of girls make. After words, I realized that sleeping with someone wont make them want you more cuz they dint have to try so hard to sleep with you, or they told you they loved you just to get in your panties. I just wish that I could've waited for this soulmate of mine..Julian. If we all knew what the future would hold we would all learn to make better decisions and everything would be perfect..well not everything because that is remotely impossible to achieve. We just would make better choices of our lives..we'd be in control of what our destinies turn out to be, but life is unfair, and if we knew our future..we would use it for only evil..well the majorities like political idols, and people who want power. It sux how this world will never comprmise, no matter how much of an effort you put into a convicing letter to make someone or many feel different about your opinion to try and open their minds to it..it will not apply for everyone you want it to. Me and my boo were talking about things like this on Holloween, and we concluded that if Human beings didn't have mouths they'd use there minds more than just talking shit and causing problems to those who just want a great life like them. Just like the big bang..you have to live..you have to think.In space, there was nothing, and then in seconds there was energy to power life. Now we are here. There will never be any such thing as a nothing when this universe collapses into itself..it will regenerate itself and BOOM..a thot..a universe is created once again..Now back to my point..Aliens dont speak and thats why they are so much more advanced than we are. Its not that they are far into the future..its that they use their brains more than we do cuz they are not waisting there time trying to ban gay marriage, kill for oil, or convert the world to one religon..like Christianinty. The Aliens are just waiting for us to break cuz Humans are so nieive, and will never stop worrying about the little things in life that do not apply. I truely think Aliens do not look the way they are described in drawings or in ppl's minds..I think the reason they are decribed this way is because of their personality..kind of like how they describe the "Devil". The Alien's "big head" means they use their brains..100% of it, the "big eyes" means that they see more than we do and understand more than we do, and the fact that they have a "small mouth" means that they do not speak, for they do not need one. A mouth is what turned us all into greedy, careless fools because we think we have the right to say what we please, and it only causes problems. Unlike the Alien creature who doesn't speak they have a great bond with eachother, noone is right or wrong, and they will conquer us because they do not know words..words ruin and distract us from advancing in our technology. They dont need to speak, they communicate with their body language and minds. A mind is a very powerful thing, and if we used ours more often, to make better sence of things instead of debating on who is correct, the world would be a much better place cuz we are killing ourselves, they, the more advanced life out there is waiting for just that..so they can better what we ended up destroying. Anyway my boo and I talk about this subject..it is quite bizaare, but it is a good point. I think only him and I  actually understand, and we can use that to our advantage in the future. Unlike everyone else who worries about their apperance, if they broke a nail, Aliens sure dont worry about what they look like. Thats why the description of them is 'ugly'. They all are the same, and united..unlike Humans who judge by the way they look or others look. Its a pathetic game that will get all Humans killed. Just think about what I said for a bit and you'll come to the realization that the only way you will ever be successful is through your appearance these days. Thats judgment in itself, that Humans created. Our point will soon be proven..I honestly dont think anyone thinks like me or Julian. They call us weird and creepy, but I think we are smart and very open to many strange ideas noone ever thought up..yeah..take that and make it a thot of yours..you'll see what we mean heh heh......you'll see the truth, and it is out there.... Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)
8:12 pm	pics of me and my future husband<3 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 16th, 2006
8:22 pm	here are some cute pics of my love and I My sexy fiance and I on our 1yr and 10 month anni.(: Always gives the sweetest kisses! muah! Me getting tipsy on a 32 of olde english b4 the movies. The picture says it all(: SEX BALL!! The dumbest cat ever, but the cutest.. just pondering.. Current Mood: high (8 Comments |Comment on this)
8:02 pm	A long time Man its been a long time since I have written in here....oh well. I am too busy to be on to journal sites. I am soon going to get rid of one. Oh yeah my life is going good by the way, just visit myspace and look up by e-mail: julianandchristel@hotmail.com you may find me. toodles(: Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Friday, September 29th, 2006
2:53 pm	Last Night was a Blast!! OMG I am still fucked up from last night!! Last night was soo fun, but I will get to that. Well, it all started when my love got back from school. I finally got my birth certificate in the mail, and I was so happy cuz now I can go to school with my love boo!! I wasn't working yesterday and neither was he, but we still had to go there to get our checks. I was pissed when I got mine cuz it was only for $61.40!! WTF?! That was some bullshit man!! I dint even get my first check either. I bitched at the managers and threatened to quit cuz they are playing fucking games with me. It was so funny to cuss at them. Anyway Don, the manager told me he was going to call Stephen, some "corperate" guy who handles the checks so he could see what the fuck was up. I fucking swear, if they dont give me my goddamned check I will quit!! I am not going to work today if they dont have it, and I even told them. As soon as I quit Julian said he was going to quit too. I dont even care for that job at all, and I know I can find better so they can kiss my ass, and they can kiss Julian's ass! Yeah besides that, my boo got paid $147 so we put that into our savings. He is going to get another job near where West is (the place where I used to work) I think he will benefit more form that one cuz they will pay him alot more. Anyway, after we cashed our checks we went back home, and chilled until our movie was going to start, which was around 7:00-7:30pm. We cuddled and fulled around for a bit lol, and then started to get ready after watching two episodes of  The Simpsons. Julian got us our beer. I drank a 24 once can of  Bud, and he drank a 24 of  Ice House..also three shots of Brandy, but I wasn't going to take it that far lol cuz I had already taken 7 ccc's lol. Then we smoked a fat jay. We were so fucked up lol. Gary was going to give us a ride, so we left around 6:55pm after I was done taking pictures of us (which I uploaded by the way(:). Lol when we were in the car, Gary and his mom were saying that they smelled alcohol on us, but I dint drink Brandy, and Julian was all,"Uhh, what are you talking about?" lol hes soo cute lol. Anyway, you know I was going to tell them that we drank lol. Cuz when I am on ccc's I cant keep my mouth shut. Its not like they care if we drink, but they donno where we get the beer from lol. As soon as they dropped us off I said,"Yeah, we had like a beer before we left so...." They already knew so whatever. Then they drove off. We got to the inside booth and asked for two tickets to see Jackass. The dumb bitch at the booth was all,"Did you guys get your ticket yet??" Obviously not! We were just standing there waiting for the tickets to come out of a slit in the booth. Then some pimple face kid walked over and when he talked Julian squeezed my hand. Lol he sounded like a female!! He was obviously gay. We were just squeezing eachothers hand while they were back there trying to fix the ticket thingy, but to me it looked like she was giving him head cuz I was really fucked up lol. He kept telling her,"Yeah, right there..no no no, yeah pull that one..ok..ok...there you go!" LMAO!! It sounded-looked sooo not right lol, and this other dude that came to help looked like he was just watching lol. I have such a dirty mind lol. We finally got our tickets and laughed all the way to our seats. The movie was sooo funny!! We both actually agreed on a funny movie together. It was the most vile, disgusting, dirty, most painful movie I have seen since their show on tv. I wanted to throw up during some of the parts. We really enjoyed ourselves. After the movie we played the toy machine game and I got an ugly witch out of it. Then we went out side to wiat on a cab. My love was teaching me how to play a card game, and then our cab pulled up. There were two old black ladies in the front seats, and I was all, "oh no, they are gonna know we are high lol". Just when I said that, one of them goes,"Hey, what movie did ya'll see?" Julians says,"Jackass" The old lady is all "Jackass?! What...did ya'll bring a blunt to the movies er somn'?" We looked at eachother and Julain goes,"We smoked before we went to the movies". The lady said laughing,"Yeah, I knew you guys were high!" we all just laughed all the way to walmart while she was telling us about her sons pot smoking habits lol. We went into walmart and bought a couple of things. It was scary being in there at night cuz all the crazy crackheads go there at night. It was raining when we got out and we ended up missing our cab cuz some asshole jumpped in it and they drove off. A guy inside walmart asked us if we wanted a ride, so we went. I gave Julian my army knife juss incase, but he was really nice to us. When we got home my boo boo ate, but I had no appetite cuz of the ccc's. He was so turned on that he just couldn't keep his hands off me  We ended up making love for almost an hour. It was sooooo hott!! We cuddled around 1:30am, and went to sleep. We had such a great night Current Mood: high (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 31st, 2006
2:21 pm	Random Thots 8/29/06 Well, on other subjects..Today is going to be another day of work. Last night was a purty boring night at work. I had to sit there and take tests so I can start working on my own, but I DONT KNOW HOW THE FUCK i AM GOING TO DO THAT IF I HAVEN'T BEEN TOUGHT SHIT! I am so fed up right now, and the only real reason why I am staying there is cuz my lovey boo works there. If it wasn't for him, I would've just stayed home last night and called it quits. OMG! Some big family was having a b~day party right next to me while I was trying to take my fucking test. They were so fucking loud and then the funniest thing happened..Some weirdo dressed up in a Barney-on-crack outfit came in and started dancing around lol. He dint even look like Barney. Last time I checked, Barney dint have a mohawk! One little boy stated to freak out cuz he was terrified of the "Barney" I just cracked up. Then he walks up to the table where I was at and just stood there stareing at me lollol I just sat there like,"WTF?!" He kept bugging me cuz I was laughing at his stupid costume. After that weird encounter I continued taking my test then my sweety came in!! He started work at 8:00pm, but I was to leave in an hour ): I decided to stay. Good thing I did cuz drama broke out. I feel real bad for my manager, Brooks cuz he is thinking about leaving the job. Everyone had a stick up their asses and he was being cussed out by two chicks who work there cuz they say he doesn't know what the fuck he is doing. He was ranting to me, Shonda, and a couple of other workers about it. I just felt so bad. He had fired one of the chicks cuz she did something..I guess argued w/ him er sum'n, but w/e I just think he wants to hang himself. The reason why noone gives him respect is cuz he is at our age level and is the "assistant" manager, so he really doesn't make all the rules, and he doesn't seem to pose a threat to anyone. I would be pissed off if I was getting guff from a bunch of workers, but he take all that shit.): His g/f sucks too lol she is ugly..kinda and she is a drunk. Too bad. Oh well, he'll leave the job and her soon. I have seen him flirt with other employees..he has even flirted with me!! He always gets me drinks and shit, but my Julian keeps an eye on him lol. Aww! I decided to stay at work til' 12:00am because my sweety was getting off at that time. I got off at 9 and sat down in the backroom of the kitchen and watched my sexy man clean them dishes lol I love my man! He looks sooo cute in his work uniform lol. After we got off we played toy shoppe and I got a bear after wasting like 5 bucks on that game, but oh well. We got a ride home from Chester, my boos friend, and smoked a joint with him. After that we cuddled and went to sleep.<3 I was not about to keep him up all night long lol. I donno if I am going to work today knowing that I am on my own just erks me! I cant fucking work on my own! Current Mood: bitchy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
2:18 pm	Stressed out, tired, and fucking sick WRITTEN 8/28 Man these past two days have been hell for me except for when my love made it all better. Well, to start things off. I HATE my new job, but I think you all knew that already. It is just pissing me off thinking about going there today. I ran out of  birth control and now my boo and I are stuck using condoms.): We hate that shit. I have to now go see a fucking doctor and get a pap test, then get a new perscription. I hate the pill cuz it lowers your sex drive even up to a year after you've stopped taking it. I wish there were other alternatives my boo and I could benifit from, but technology hasen't gotten that far yet. Another bummer is that I have been feeling like shit the past two days. On Saturday, my love and I had to do some cleaning. After cleaning we ended up making lunch/dinner which was spagghetti(how ever you spell that) and mussles mmmmmmm! We had a side of shrimp and cocktail sauce yummy. We ended up smoking a lil after that, and we ended up being naughty lol.After, we cuddled to watch tv until my sweety had to go to work. When he started to get ready I started to feel a lil sick. My head started pounding cuz I was thinking negative thots about my job and school. My lovey kissed me goodbye and right when he left I began feeling worse. I threw up, and tried to calm myself with the bath my boo ran for me, but that only worked for a while. It felt like a fucking bowling ball was dropped on my head from a 2 story building!! I just tried to go to sleep after taking tylenol, but that was minimum. Every sound was loud and light was painful to endure. When my sweety got home early around 12:00am I was happy to see him (: He made me some fruit in a bowl and gave me my last contraceptive and then cuddled me for hours. We made love even though I was feeling like shit, but like they say..orgasms minimize headaches lol. We ended up passing out around 5:00am. On Sunday morning I felt a lil better, but I still felt sick. I guess I haven't been eating well, and my kidneys have been a pain in the ass for the past 3 months..whatever if I die my boo is comming with me lol.My boo catered to me some more which is soo sweet! I have never had a guy care so much about me and does it because he cares and not cuz he thinks he is obligated to.(: He is always finding ways to make me feel at ease..for no reason. I wont say names cuz she knows who she is. I love her though. Right now I need to go back to sleep er sum'n. I've been up since 8:00 on this damn site lol Current Mood: cranky (Comment on this)
Friday, August 25th, 2006
10:13 pm	GRUELING DAY OF WORK Today  was a grueling day at work. Oh, and just incase yall dnt know, I now work at a restaurant called Hams. Today was my third day of training and the first day I started to take orders. It was complicating, but not as hard as I expected. I still donno if I want to keep the job becuz I HATE SERVING PPL!! Its not my thing. I am more of a fashion kinda person, and I love to work in malls cuz it is more of a comfortable setting for me. I have a strange trainer named Shonda. She looks like an alien, but shes not ugly lol. I am really shy there, and thats just something I guess I have to work on for the next couple of days if I really wanna understand the work I must do. Everyone stares at me cuz my hair is red and black and I am the only one there with the back of my head shaved. They prolly think I am some kind of freak ): It feels sooo weird to talk to these ppl and remember exactly who ordered what, but yeah..I am still looking for that ideal job that does not stress me out as much. I am NOT a restauraunt (however you spell that) kind of person. It just doesn't sit well with me. I hate the uniform cuz it reminds me of when I use to work at  Winn Dixie ugh!! Sooo unattractive. I like wearing my own fucking close. I need to work somewhere where they don't issue uniforms. Anyway, my sweetheart clocked in for work, and for the hours I was there we just kept looking at eachother and blowing kisses at eachother (: It was so sweet. Man, I wish I could touch him, but we can't  let our customers know we are together(wait till we get home! lol). Brooks, our manager gave me the opportunity to work at the same workplace even though he shouldn't have, so I just try to stick to the rules. When I had to leave though, Julian<3 took me to the back (freezer) and we madeout like crazy before I had to clock out and go home lol. OH YESSSS! Good thing noone saw us lol. He is still at work now and wont be home until 2:00am. I wanna sex him up sooo bad. He left me all hot and bothered, and I think I did as well lol. I love my booboo, and no bitch has nothin on me! He sees none of you. You are all "monsters of obligation" to him..meaning he is "obligated" to talk to you cuz you may be a friend of mine. Except Nikki, he thinks she is cool and considers her a friend. Sucks for the rest of you though.lol. Well I am going to try and fuck with my myspace, see you there!! PS: I love my bay yup yup I love my boo Current Mood: horny (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
1:02 am	THATS SOME COOL SHIT! OMG! My boops just got home from work early (1:02am) and he told and showed me the most awsome thing...HE FOUND $289 IN SOME GUYS WALLET AT HIS JOB!! Holy shit, and coincidenally we needed almost that amount of money to put back in our savings because we used it out of our savings!! Awsome! He and I always find money! I remember one time when we weren't going out at the time and we were near a road by PIS (skatepark) and I was bitching about needing three dollars to get into PIS. When suddenly I looked down and saw a dollar and picked it up..then another dollar....and another! Three fucking dollars..the money that I needed. It also happened when I was bitching about not having cigs, there was a pile of them in front of me in the grass! Man someone likes up or down there lol..or I have magic powers! LOL. Well, my boop wants to be with me so yeah..juss wanted to tell you of this amazing discovery..HA! BET YOU WISH YOU FOUND THAT KINDA MONEY BITCH! Current Mood: mischievous (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 14th, 2006
8:48 pm	RANDOM THOTS  Im so excited! My sweetheart went out and got us a digital cam on the 8th. It is a Samsung flat cam, and its so fucking nice! I havent taken any pics for online yet cuz we've just been screwing around with it and trying to get to know it better. So far we've managed to shoot some videos with it which is really fun.lol. My boo is soo sweet! Speaking of sweet, yesterday was our 1yr and 8 month(: It was quite romantic..excusing the part where he had to leave for an 11:30pm meeting at work, but we ended up doing all our fun shit beforehand. We drank some Gin, Bacardi Gold, and some leftover Brandy and got pretty wasted before we went to see the movie Pulse. He rolled this huge ass blunt lol. It looked exactly like a cigar, and we smoked that shit. Good thing Gary gave us a ride cuz we were all over the place lol. At the movies I had brought a thing of Bacardi and Brandy mixed with orange juice cuz I can't watch a scary movie I'm not sure about w/out being intoxicated (which is occasionally lol I am not an alcoholic). I didn't think the movie would be that scary. Well inside the theater we couldn't keep our hands off eachother(but thats all the time lol). My boo slapped my ass and it echoed throughout the movie room and everyone looked at us. It was funny cuz it was during one of the quiet "killing"  parts of the movie and I had to take a piss lol (; Anyway, turns out the movie wasn't that scary to me, but here I am online thinking some ghostly creature is standing behind me cuz I have a computer back there and I keep hearing shit. I hate the dark ): When we got home we cuddled and ate dinner, and then cuddled some more....lol. Then he had to go to his stupid meeting, and dint get home until 1:15am. I watched a little of Carlos Mencia and Cheppelle reruns til I fell asleep. My love is such a perve..lol.. He took pictures of my naked body as I slept, and did some other weird things to me in my sleep..as usual Lmao! I love my pervert..you know freaky men is just what girls need today cuz they are all sooooo bitchy heehee. This piercing is a pain in the ass to take care of cuz it is to the side. When Julian and I kiss it always gets in the way and it hurts. Good thing he doesn't have braces anymore cuz that would prolly be even worse lol. It is healing pretty well though. Since I think I am getting thicker, the family started the "Nutrisystem". Yeah, another diet attempt. I hope I get somewhere this time. Well, tomorrow I start my job as a host at Hams Resturaunt(how ever you spell that) Im glad I get to work with my sweetheart teeheehee! I will go now cuz I need to see whats going on with my old myspace thingy cuz Nikki-poo wants me to start a new one.Toodles!  Current Mood: flirty (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 11th, 2006
1:25 pm	WHAT NOW?? and other shit.... Since I've been gone alot of shit happened lol. First off, I lost my job at t-mobile..(West Corp.) cause I scored an overall 76% in trianing. It pisses me off cuz I coulda still had the job if it wasn't for those dumb new trianers they got us(their black). They were sooo fucking dumbfounded about what to do with us. Another thing that pissed me off about them was the obvious fact that they had favoritism issues w/ all the dumb ghetto ppl in the class. They would give them answers to the tests, and all their questions were answered, but when the lightskined er white ppl wanted to know something, they litterally cold shouldered us! What a way to switch up the discrimination. I mean, the fucking trainer had sicle cell anemia for crying out loud! He couldn't even talk loud enough for the rest of the class to hear. On friday of last week they walked out alot of "white ppl" who supposedly failed the trianing class. I was walked out too and I had to leave my friends Ashley and Allison(my smoking buddy) behind ): I wasn't too mad cuz I really didn't want to put up with all the shit and stresss they put upon me. The only thing that really pissed me off was that I could've kept my job if we had better trianers. We learned nothing when they would teach the class, but I did learn ON MY OWN. Isn't that pathetic?? I was mad mainly because of the money we made sitting on our asses for eight hours doing nothing but taking calls. On my last paycheck, I made $772, and the one before that, for one week I made $372. Altogether it came out to about $2,000! In one fucking month..doing nothing lol. Oh well, I got another job at a restaraunt working with my love (: So I am happy. With a little bit of that money, we went on a shopping spree, and the rest was put away. The day after I spoke with Nikki..I think last Saturday, my boo boo had a spontaneous idea for me to get a piercing. I wasn't really ready, but I was all, "Eh, what the hell, lets do it!" As soon as we got to the tattoo place I freaked, but we were already there soo there was no turning back. I decided to get the left side of my lip done. I was so scared lol cause alot of ppl get pierced for attention, but me..this was not my idea and it was spontaneous lol. I saw the hollow needle! I hate needles! and doctor stuff! I did it! It only hurt for a sec., but it was painless. It looks so hott. Now I have to bear the healing process for a month er so. I braided my hair a couple of days ago black and pink. We are soon getting a digital cam so I can take some pics and put them on my lj. Hope Nikki likes them(: Our (J & I) anneversary for 1 yr and 8 months is on sunday! yay! Still strong and forever will be! Anyway, we are going to work today and tomorrow we are going to see the movie "Pulse" oooooo scary! Well I will go now . I have shit to do! That was my fucked up and spontaneous two weeks!! bye.  PS: I AM GOING TO BE A GODMOTHER!! Current Mood: busy Current Music: Chicken Limbo's the one, biiig fun! lol (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 22nd, 2006
12:27 pm	work, work, work Man, this is first time I can actually update my journal. Shit. Anyway, I started work....well..the training class which is supposed to last 2 months and so far I am doing pretty good. Though our trainers are stoners like everyone else there. lol. I got my first check for $348 on friday, but that was wayyyy less than I was supposed to get. I should have had like $400 dammit, but its still green. I have been working from weds-sun from 4:30-1:00am. It sounds like a crazy time to be working til, but it will get later when I start taking calls in GMA. I really like the work environment. It is very comfortable. The only thing that bothers me is the fact they made up some bogus rules. You could prolly get fired for anything..especially dress code. You cant chew gum, wear sandals (only if it has a heel), you can't be ONE  min late from breaks..Basically, it is like highschool. Yea, but alot of ghetto ppl work there, so I can see why they put so many rules up..cuz they just don't know how to calm down. One of my trainers look like one of my old friends Ricky in FL, but he is black. It is crazy to cuz he is a player just like Ricky, linky, quiet, and tall, but he is alot smarter than him, and he doesn't sleep around lol, and did I mention all the girls want to sleep with him? lol gross! I wouldn't want to sleep with a Ricky look-a-like! (if i was single ofcourse..thats just sic) Well I have to go shopping for a few things for work so this is all I got for you now. I gotta wake up my sweety pie who I left sleeping in our room ): I love my boo! Oh! speaking of which, he just got a job yesterday at a place called Hams by the mall. I hope he can get as many hours as I did because that would benifit us alot. Soon we are going to get a place and my girl Nikki will be able to move right on in with her man! I miss you Nikki baby!! I know you work and you can't call me. Same here, but I dont even have a number to call you from, so please, when you have the chance, give your girl a call..I am off Mondays and Tuesdays! Love you!  Current Mood: productive (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 7th, 2006
5:08 pm	FUCKED WITH A KNIFE: from Julian, to Christel No escape from your fate Destined to be mine Every night I wait to see In the night, watching Stalking your every move I know when you're alone All alone Tied tight to the bed Legs spread open Bruised flesh, lacerations Skin stained with blood I'm the only one you love I feel her heart beating My knife deep inside Her crotch is bleeding She liked the way it felt inside her Fucking her, harder, harder She liked the way it felt inside her Fucking her, harder, harder Stick it in Rip the skin Carve and twist Torn flesh From behind I cut her crotch In her ass I stuck my cock Killing as I cum Current Mood: horny (4 Comments |Comment on this)